Healing Stretch: My first fitness class at the gym

So last night at the gym, I was minding my own business, listening to my iPod and attempting to sculpt my abs into something other than jiggly when a figure loomed above me. I removed my earphones and propped myself up on one elbow and presented my "I have no idea what you're talking about/why are you bothering me?" smile while this friendly middle aged man asked me if I was going to attend the class in the studio at 6:30. I told him I had never gone before (the only Japanese I could muster at the time). He decided to explain to me that this is "Healing Stretch" class, and it's good for "relax body". And that I should go. And that it started in 5 minutes. I said maybe and he shuffled off. I was hoping I could just get away with not going...

Don't get me wrong, I like taking fitness classes. In fact, I was very into Yoga in college, and can't wait to get back into it when I go to Portland. But the clientele at my gym is mainly children and geriatrics, so the class selection pretty much consists of Junior Karate (Tuedays at 5:30 and so cute, by the way) or Healing Stretch (with a bunch of old folks), so I've never joined a class at my gym and I've pretty much made a workout routine that I like to stick to. Thus, I wasn't really planning on taking this man up on his suggestion to "relax body".

Anyway, 3 minutes later, the ever-so-genki instructor looms above me and asks me if I'm coming in. I could tell I wasn't gonna get off so easily, so I said OK, gathered my things and joined the obaasans (grandmas) and ojiisans (grandpas) in the studio. This class has to be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever done in my life. Aside from the fact that I couldn't understand a word the lady was spouting out a mile a minute in high-pitched Japanese, the exercises we did were rather amusing. First we had to sit seiza for about 15 minutes (14 and a half minutes too long for any foreigner, I think) and do various arm and neck stretches. Later we had to engage in rubbing of our extremities (how is this exercise?) and my personal favorite was when we had to lie on our backs and wiggle our legs and arms above us for 90 seconds, followed by 90 seconds of squirming on the floor like worms. Oy oy oy. It was all I could do to keep from laughing for an entire hour of this.

After the class the instructor and the original middle aged man who invited me into the class approached me to tell me how great my Japanese is (um, did you even hear me speak? no!) and what days and times the class meets during the week. I'm afraid that from now on, if I'm at the gym within 10 minutes of it starting, I'm gonna get dragged in there again!

Oh well, at least I can "relax body" right?