Osaka oh yeah!

Osaka is very cool. Kind of un-Japanese. Not a city to go to if you want to see shrines, temples and other such Japanese stuff. It's more of a city to go to when you want to feel like you're in a city. Osaka is smaller than Tokyo, but seemingly more lively and more accessible. Tokyo is just so looming and there are so many "entertainment" areas that all have their reputations, etc. but truth be told, I've always found Tokyo nightlife to be disappointing... it's kind of one of those cities where you need to know what's happening where - a crowded and bustling area one weekend might be deserted the next. Anyway yeah, Osaka is not the most inspiring place, but this weekend's antics almost made up for the months of monotany in Niigata...

Friday morning, Aaron and I headed to Niigata airport to catch our one-hour flight to Osaka's Itami airport. On the plane, we ended up surrounded by the Niigata Albirex basketball team which was kind of hilarious but mostly awkward. I plugged into my iPod to ignore their cliche comments (Dude, we must be the tallest people in this country!) and relaxed for our short flight (I love short flights, never get enough of those these days). When we arrived at the airport, we navigated our way through a series of monorail and subways to our hotel where it was too early to check-in. Not a problem. We left Tommy Hilfiger and REI with reception and made our way around the city. The first stop was the New Umeda Sky Building (or something) where we took an elevator-of-death to the top floor observation deck. We stopped for lunch (snack?) at a cafe on top. The food was rather disappointing but with our mid-afternoon Coronas, all was well. It was a pretty clear, comfortable day so we were able to see (and photograph) the sprawl of Osaka while we searched for the 1000 Nozzles we'd seen a sign for (we were thinking top floor bar with 1000 beer taps), but alas, no beer taps in sight.




Next we made our way through a dizzying maze of Japanese food stalls looking for lunch. We were both hungry but I was having a picky-eating afternoon and just when we'd decide on a place to eat I'd be like, "No wait, I don't want okonomiyaki, ramen, sushi, curry rice, etc etc." I was probably pissing Aaron off but in the end, my pickiness paid off when we stumbled upon a Subway (woohoo!) in HEP5. Awesome awesome awesome. Granted, it wasn't Wegmans sub caliber, but still so good.


After we inhaled our subs and people-watched for awhile, we wandered around the shops of HEP5. I forced Aaron to buy a hot pair of Aviators and told him to "wear them with confidence" when he complained that he'd never found sunglasses that he looked good in. We also stopped into a shoe store where Aaron wanted me to try on a pair of pink, fuzzy high heeled boots. The mere thought of that combined with the hundreds of hideous shoes in my line of vision actually made me a little nauseous and we had to get out of there pronto.

Then we hopped on the subway to the National Bunraku Theatre for a bit of culture. Bunraku is like Kabuki with puppets, apparently one of the first art forms made available to the common people like a million years ago. My knowledge on this is not too deep cause when we got there we learned that Bunraku is only performed during certain months of the year and February is not one of them. We exited the theater and headed down Dotonburi where we took PuriKura (best ones yet!) and just took in the sights of this bustling area.


Random Japan sidenote time: For those of you who don't know, Japan is a culture of socially awkward people. Because of this, there is this um, industry of hostess/host bars where one can pay money for another person's company and conversation. Unlike in the West (prostitution), these businesses are not necessarily sexual. I'm pretty sure they are officially not for sexual purposes, but let's face it, I'd bet my bananas that at least some of these business exchanges end at a love hotel. Anyway, outside of Dotonburi I found this billboard advertising the services of some hosts. It's a veritable menu of dudes (Man-u???) you can choose to spend time with (for a cost). It's weird but it's totally accepted and very openly advertised. Yowza. If I personally were in the market for a host, I would choose the dude in the top right corner with the blonde highlighted mullet and his tongue poking through his snaggle teeth (do you think he's gross up close?). End sidenote.


While in Dotonburi, Aaron wanted to find this famous statue he had read about in some guidebook. We asked two people dressed in funny costumes and waving flags outside of a pachinko parlor. One of the guys we asked handed his flag to his co-worker and then actually led us through the two blocks to the place we wanted to see. The Japanese might be awkward, but they are really helpful. Apprently, at this statue, you're supposed to throw in your yen and toss a couple ladles of water onto the statue to ensure a good night. Aaron did it, I just watched.



We headed back to our hotel to shower and get ready for dinner. We met up with two of Aaron's college friends, April and Staffa (I think this is his last name?) in Umeda station then stumbled upon this Japanese izakaya admist blaring pachinko parlors, arcades and general Friday night chaos. Staffa and April ordered their own food, but Aaron (my fellow pig) and I decided to go with the Japanese way of ordering a bunch of stuff on the menu to sample and share. We ordered a California Roll (don't be fooled! California Rolls, while sushi, are not Japanese), charbroiled chicken and toro tuna sushi. The food was lush and the lemon sour(s) I had along with the food was perfect.




After paying for our (v. spendy) dinner, we headed to an Irish pub around the corner called the Blarney Stone. I wasn't surprised that this place had almost the exact same feel and population as Irish/British pubs all over Japan - drunk 20-something ALTs, middle-aged foreign men and random sober Japanese people who want to practice English. Weird, right? After a couple hours (I had a yagerbomb and a Bass), we went to a bar called Caligula. April had a flier for this place that adverised no cover, go-go boys and a drag show. The random girl who tagged along with us decided we could walk there... an hour later we finally made it (I had packed flats in my purse, thank goodness!). This bar was pretty posh but it was also pretty empty and totally lame. And after the hour walk, I had pretty much lost my buzz and my gusto for staying out late. The drag show was totally pathetic - chubby Asian men (yes, they were chubby. I don't get it either) lipsyncing to early 90's music in leotards and the go-go boys just walked around dressed like Hard Gay carrying bottles of Moet. It was weird and I had to get out of there immediately. So at 1:30 I bid sayonara to Aaron and his friends and I took a taxi back to the hotel solo. Maybe I should have tossed some water on that statue?

Saturday was absolutely gorgeous and Aaron and I got on a train to Himeji (no coats!). Himeji Castle is touted at being the most lovely castle in Japan (they rank everything here and this castle is acutally #1. Matsumoto Castle is #2, I believe). Himeji-jo is one of the few castles that wasn't competely destroyed during the war, so it remains in its original wooden form; the castles that were destroyed have since been rebuilt with concrete. At Himeji we met up with Marian, another of Aaron's friends (Minnesota people are EVERYWHERE!) and toured through the castle grounds and all 6 floors of the castle.


After that we ate lunch at a lovely little outdoor cafe and decided that we'd stop in Kobe on the way back to Osaka. In Kobe we just ambled around the city toward the harbor for awhile. Kobe is really pretty. The buildings are all new because everything had to be rebuilt after The Great Hanshin Earthquake in 1995 pretty much levelled the city.



We returned to our hotel in Osaka for a power nap/shower attack before meeting Blaine for a Mexican (!) dinner. The restaurant we went to was on the 6th floor of a building in Shinsaibashi. It was a tiny little place but every table was full... with other like-minded foreigners. We ordered a pitcher of margaritas and drank and talked about Japan while we feasted on our Mexican meal. Very fabulous. After dinner we met up with Marian and April again to begin what would end up being a crazy night. We started at a bar called Zerro which was run by and populated with foreigners - mostly Osaka JETs if I understood correctly from all the random people April introduced us to. We settled in for a drink there before heading to a place called Pure. This place came recommended by the JETs there when April told them that Marian and I are from the middle of nowhere and just wanted a crazy place to drink and dance.



Pure has a 2500yen nomihoudai ($25 all you can drink) plan every weekend. They give you one cup (so ghetto!) and you just get refills. Aaron had since pussied out on the night (ew, did I just say pussied out?), so April, Marian and I decided that we were going to act as stupid as possible. The night got pretty silly pretty fast. The three of us drank and danced like crazy, and we even got up on the stage with a bunch of skantily dressed Japanese girls. Very interesting.


The place filled up fast and at one point I definitely slipped across the floor but luckily some random dude literally caught me as I slid to my boozy death. Unluckily I had to spend the rest of the night dodging him cause he was pretty shady. Later on, Marian and I were sitting at a table and some idiot ex-Marine from Texas started up a political discussion with us in which he claimed to hate Bush but hates Clinton more for his "lack of morals". I went on a slight tirade on this dude with Marian as my backup then we ran back to the dancefloor to work off our political frustrations. Soon enough, I met this hilarious and very cute Japanese boy Yusuke who is studying chemical engineering (or something) at one of the universities in Osaka. Yusuke, ahem, kept me entertained for the rest of the night...

Sunday was pretty rough for me. After about 45 minutes of sleep, I met up with Aaron just in time to hastily pack up our stuff and check out of the hotel. I was hungover and exhausted and it was raining really hard. We had previously decided we'd go to the aquarium on Sunday so we got on a train and headed there. I'm not one to sleep on public transport, but everytime we sat down I passed out. The aquarium was the worst idea ever for my condition. It was suuuuper crowded with really intense Japanese families and their stupid video cameras and camera phones and excited shouts of "suuuuugoiiii" everywhere we looked. I can't believe I didn't puke.

Our flight back to Niigata wasn't until 5:30 but we headed to the airport after the aquarium. We got there about two hours early and I found a bench and slept pretty much the entire time. It's probably going to take me like a week to recover but man, it was so worth it.


Pictures are up on my fotopage for those who wanna see...